Confessions of One Weak Vegan

I hesitate telling you all this..

but what the heck?

Let's be real here.

Nobody is perfect

including me.

So I'd like to share with you
my last few very weak, lame,

vegan days.

Excuse me, that's NON-vegan days.

It all started when my husband left town for a few days.

Point one: Don't let the husband leave town.

He finished his Bachelors Degree this week (Go Hubby!)

so I pretty much kicked him out of the house with my boots,

"Go celebrate!" I told him. "Party time!"

So he jumped in the car with his bike, and his college roommate,

and left for a Flagstaff, Arizona.

He mingled with all his old running buddies,

went on long runs, didn't drink (you call that celebrating?),

learned new stretches to improve his back, 

and talked about vegetables with his friend who, 

get this, works at the farmers market. 

He gets all the produce he wants for free!! Hello! My dream come true!

So while he was over there improving his well-being (whatever dude),

I was back home....not doing that.

My friend came over to spend the night and brought...

California Pizza Kitchen.

Okay, sorry, who here can say no to California Pizza Kitchen?

"It's not vegan, is that okay?" she asked.

"Oh yeah! Bring it over!" I quickly hung up before I could say "No!"

In high school we went to CPK as much as possible
and always ordered the same thing,

Spinach Artichoke Dip.

It was good, but it was not as good as I remembered.

Let me tell you something,

it's fine eating something not vegan every once in a while. 

There are no vegan police that pound on your door
and tell you in a deep authoritative voice
that they know what is going on in there.

But the problem with "cheating"
is that dairy and meat have addictive properties to them.

They are supposed to after all.

Milk is designed for a calf to want more
and eat more of it so she can grow.

But when someone like me eats it, 

who is no longer growing,

I just want more.

That's all. Just more.
Give me more!

So what started as an innocent trip back to my past,

ended up being grilled cheese the next day,

nachos the day after that, oh yeah, and the club sandwich,

and macaroni and cheese today.

No, let me specify, REAL macaroni and cheese.

From scratch.

Complete with condensed milk,
two sticks of butter, eggs and half a pound of cheese.


Oh! Thanks goodness it's Vitamin D fortified! 
Now it truly is healthy!

Yes, I have already gained weight.
So, to all of you who roll their eyes at me,
"Oh! She is just one of those girls
that can have two babies and is still skinny"
think again.
I work hard for this "figure".
(I laugh at the word associated with myself
since I have no curves.
No, no hips, even after babies).
Dairy is fattening.
A baby calf goes from being a cute little baby
to a 200 pound cow by it's first year.
So,yes, fattening food has made it's way to my neck and tummy.
Gross! Ew!

But besides that, I feel foggy, sluggish,
my headaches are worse, I don't sleep well at night
and I've been feeling bloated.
And this is just four days off my diet.
It didn't all happen at once.
It's slowly been piling on.

I'm going to be honest with you,
everything wasn't even that yummy.
Yes, it was good,
but nothing beats a salad grated with sweet dark red beets,
the crunch of lettuce,
the creaminess of perfectly composed dressing.
This from a girl who up to three weeks ago, hated salads.
See the cookbooks that changed me here.
I could live without the fattening food that makes me sluggish.
But I couldn't live without the food
that was designed to restore body.

Because of my extreme binge,
I've decided to go macrobiotic starting this week.
I told my husband yesterday
that there has been a battle going on in my body,
between Macrobiotic diet or macaroni and cheese.
Now that I had my macaroni,
I'm ready to go Macro.
Macrobiotic is a very intense diet
so I won't be following it to the 'T'.
Instead I will be incorporating more
1) Whole grains,
2) Vegetables (that are leafy, in season and local),
3) Plant based proteins (tempeh, tofu, beans, nuts)
4) Miso soup (huge immune booster and radiation fighter) and
5) Sea vegetables (aka sea weed. But who wants to eat sea weed?
so now it's called sea vegetables),
and no processed foods, white flour or sugar.

Got that?
I did live off this diet
for one whole month
during my second pregnancy.
It was the best month of my life.
But then I wanted cheese!
I'm pregnant!
Don't deprive me of cheese!
And since cheese has addictive properties,
then I wanted chicken and other stuff
and my macro diet went out the window along with my great living.

I went on it again a few months ago
and same thing happend.
This time no!
I totally want to try this for more than a month.
Really, for reals.
Weakness, build some muscle!
I remember how I felt as a Macro,
and I want to feel that way again.
I was practically levitating,
full of energy and slept like a log.
Yes! I want that back!

So amigos,
vegans, semi-vegans
and those of you on the Standard American Diet,
I will be embarking on a new adventure,
well, not new for me,
but an adventure,
and I look forward to my skin clearing up
and my intestines detoxing *cough*.
I would like to invite you all
to do what you can to join me.
I'll be sharing recipes as much as I can.
But keep it simple.
Remember,
beans, whole grains, veggies.
We can do it!
And since the hubby is running more,
I'm looking forward to filling his body with good stuff
so he can have great performance.
I'll be sharing emergency snacks to have around the house as well!
No cranky, hungry macro people around my house!

Alright fine, I can't live without my fattening food.
So I'll be sharing vegan versions of my favorites as well.
(I'm currently working on vegan "Animal Style" In-N-Out fries
and CPK's Wild Mushroom Pizza. Yup!)

Here's to sleeping like a log on beans! What?!